Friday, May 06, 2005


My mother grew up in post War Germany. West Germany as it were. She was the youngest daughter of a survivor of the Russian POW camps. She was a wild child, even by her own admission! Her mother had severe diabetes and was in and out of "hospitals." Her dad was always busy in his shop. He was a carpenter. She was his favorite.

At age 16 she met my dad, who was 20. Mom had already had a job since age 14 and was "all grown up" by her standards. Then she got pregnant with me. Her Daddy was none too pleased. No one was pleased about it actually. But mom did the right thing. She never said, "this baby is going to ruin my life." Instead she said, "How can I make this baby's life wonderful?"

At 17 my dad was dead, and she was a Widow. At 20 she and I were on a plane flying from Frankfurt to Texas. 20. That age never hit me til I was well past 20 and realized how young 20 really is. 20 seems younger everyday, actually! ;)

She left her home and her family to start a better one for me. It was insanely courageous. She gave up a lot of things and chose many paths that were for me and my best interest. She will tell you that she felt she was a terrible mother. That she made nothing but mistakes. That she can't figure out how I turned out so "good" in spite of everything she messed up.

After becoming a mom at 20 my respect for my mom grew in leaps and bounds. Riding home from the hospital with my newborn daughter I was almost panic stricken. I didn't know what to do with her, or myself at that point. I thought about how hard this would have been at 16. I thought about how hard my mom was on me growing up. It was all so crystal clear to me now.

Thanks mom, for never once letting me down. For never saying I told you so. For being so selfless and in turn teaching me to be selfless with my children. You taught me what love is.