Tuesday, August 02, 2005


Warning: The following story is not really that funny.

"Mommy, if I don't go to school will I die?" Zoe asks me this pretty seriously. I laugh and say no, and wonder why she would ask that. "What if I don't get married?" She asks seriously. I ask her who told her all that. She dodges the question, but I am pretty sure it was her brother Alex. He is trying to convince her to go to school. She keeps saying she doesn't want to go.(I never thought he'd resort to death threats though!) I guess his reasoning is that no guy will ever marry a dumb girl, and she'll never end up anywhere if she doesn'y go to school. He thinks about things like that alot. He totally knows what his life plan is already. He's 8.

Zoe getting to school this year is turning out to be a major disaster. She hasn't had to go to the doctor very much. So I hadn't kept up with her immunizations. She is way behind come to find out. (I'm really really bad about stuff like that.) Hopefully they will let me register her anyway. She got 5 shots last week. I didn't warn her about that before we went. But she did great. They promised her a sticker. By the time we left , they forgot about the sticker. I told her that we'd have to get 2 stickers the next time we went. You should have seen her face! "I am never going to the doctor again!" Very matter of factly.

I love that girl! I won't go as far as to say she is my favorite, but she certainly keeps me on my toes. She is a ray of sunshine on days that are otherwise miserable. Her whole existence is a ray of sunshine. When I found out I was pregnant, again...(the 3rd time in 5 years...) I was furious! I was so mad at my husband. (he'd refused to get "fixed.") I was furious that I was going to be pregnant again. I was so tired of being pregnant. I was furious with myself for not being more careful. 5 minutes after that, I was looking forward to having a girl. I just knew it had to be a girl. The odds were on my side. I had already had 2 boys, then a girl. Two boys again, so now it should be a girl. As if life really works out that way. (but it did!)

The whole time I was pregnant with Zoe I was miserable. My hubby has a daughter from another girl, and she decided to sue for more child support and less visitation. This was a long, drawn out mess. At the time she lived in Irving and we lived just outside Abilene. Thats about 4 hours. So we did alot of back and forth just to go to court for everything. And this chick just dragged everthing on. Because she didn't like driving to pick her own daughter up, she was trying to change the visitation to once a month. In order to do that she had to come up with a good reason to tell a Judge. She couldn't, so she made one up. And that was to try and get her daughter to say I was mean, and abusive. And so the court ordered a "family study" to be done by a social worker, in Ft. Worth of course.

That child's mother dragged the court case out til July 29th. I was due August 1st. She had asked the daughter over the phone when I was due. Yes, I recorded it. Now why else would she want to know? All this stupid drama over this child's mother lying about me and going back and forth to Ft. Worth. I was miserable mentally and physically.

Then, we won. The court found that there was absolutely no reason to reduce visitation, or increase support. It was finally over.

On the 4th of August 2000, I gave birth to a tiny little Zoe. She was the smallest of all my living children at birth. She weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces. I was so happy to have nothing to worry about now but Zoe.